Unconfirmed Sources
Unconfirmed Sources Online Edition: Political Satire and Humorous News parodies.

• Researchers Find Link Between Obesity; Calories
  
  A groundbreaking study from the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, LA reveals that the more calories an individual consumes, the fatter he/she becomes.
  
• Facebook Offers Solution to Privacy Concerns
  
  In an effort to fend off lawsuits, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and other Facebook officials offered a practical plan to protect Facebook members privacy.
  
• John Boehner and Eric Cantor Abducted by Aliens
  (Washington D.C.) Unconfirmed Sources are reporting that House GOP leaders Eric Cantor and John Boehner have been abducted by aliens and replaced by evil robots intent on destroying America. D.C. police have taken the two evil robots into custody and are at this moment trying to determine the whereabouts of the two lawmakers.
  
  
• Barefoot Bandit Secretly Inks $5 Million Movie Deal
  It seems crime does pay, at least for "Barefoot Bandit" Colton Harris-Moore, as the ex-fugitive has secretly signed a $12 million deal with 20th Century Fox to produce a movie about his famous exploits.
  
• God Apologizes To Herman Cain
  God, the Lord of the Universe, apologized to Herman Cain today for asking him to run for President.
  
• University of Texas Offers George W. Bush $1000 for Speech
  
  The University of Texas reportedly former president George W. Bush $1000 today to deliver a speech to graduate students interested in a career in politics. However, Bush declined the offer.
  
• Herman Cain Defends Harassment Claims
  
  Front running GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain admitted today that he has sexually harassed "a few women" but defended his actions by claiming he was just being "presidential".
  
• Wikileaks Founder Julian Assange Charged With Failure To Use Condom; Being Lo...
  
  Wikileaks founder Julian Assange will be extradited to Sweden in the next few days to face charges that he failed to use a condom with one woman and had sex with a second woman while she slept without waking her thus violating Sweden's strict "lousy lover' law.
  
• GOP Election Update- Tuesday, November 1, 2011
  
  
  Texas Governor Rick (The Quiet Man) Perry has put out a series of ads in Iowa to be broadcast on television markets and on cable throughout the state as part of his bid to win the Iowa Caucus. Wearing a light blue shirt, The candidate speaks directly to poor Iowans who every four years bear both the distinction and the brunt of being, along with New Hampshire, part of the 'first in the nation' states to vote on who they want to win the nomination for president. Anyway, Gov. Perry says, "I'm a doer, not a talker, so when it comes to debating other GOP contenders I'm just gonna stop talking. If you want to see what I'll do, you'll just have to elect me without any input on my part." (At least we're pretty sure that's what it says...no one here actually gets any Iowa television; it's one of the good things about being a New Yorker in California).
  
• Election 2012 Updates: Herman Cain To "Dial Back" Campaign- Rick Perry To Avo...
  
  
  Pizza Pie Guy Herman Cain's long shot bid for the White House has gained so much steam so fast that he's "dialing it back"�. The question of why a man whose campaign has caught fire in the past month would intentionally throw a blanket over that fire has been answered by Mr. Cain himself. Apparently, the 65 year old Mr. Cain feels that "When you're too tired you're not on your "game", so his solution to a problem every American who's working two and three jobs just to make ends meet faces is to, well, just not show up. The fact is, Mr. Cain is just too tuckered out to endure even trying to be nominated as a presidental candidate; it remains to be seen how exhausted he'd be if he actually won.