Unconfirmed Sources
Unconfirmed Sources Online Edition: Political Satire and Humorous News parodies.

• Congresswoman Dina Titus hates people
  LAS VEGAS - Americans for Drunkenness submitted a written request to Congresswoman Dina Titus that she mandate health insurance coverage for booze. Americans for Porn asked her to include insurance coverage for porn sites. Americans for Breast Augmentation requested Dina Titus include mandates for breast augmentation. Vegetarians of America requested Titus include mandates for spinach and corn coverage.
  
• $1,000,000 reward offered for capturing Sharron Angle
  LAS VEGAS - The DoJ has offered a $1,000,000 reward for information leading to the capture of the wild Nevadan dingbat Sharron Angle. She is suspected of having ties to rogue, terrorist elements within the United States.
  
• God Says, "Don't Build The 'Ground Zero Mosque'...No, Wait A Minute..."
  
  
  First of all, this is about what the conservative pundits are calling the "Ground Zero Mosque", although it's not at Ground Zero. Second of all, I'm not a New Yorker- I'm an ex-New Yorker. I haven't lived in Manhattan since 1989 and the last time I worked there was like, 1998 or something and I've only been back once since 9/11. But since people who've never come within a thousand miles of the City seem to have no problem weighing in on what should be a local problem, then I guess I have a right to as well. And that opinion is: everybody, both pro-mosque and anti-mosque, are completely wrong and mostly a bunch of idiots.
  
• City Water for Port Hueneme, CA Now More Expensive Than Bottled Water
  
  After its third rate hike in one year, the city of Port Hueneme (Pro: Why-knee-me) , CA has now raised its rates for city tap water so high that it is now more expensive than many bottled drinking waters.
  
• Pop Star Justin Bieber Plans Comeback World Tour for 2035
  
  16 year pop Canadian singing sensation Justin Bieber announced today that he plans on making a 'comeback' world tour in 2035 when he is 41 years old.
  
• Jury Unanimously Agrees Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich Is An Idiot
  
  Though deadlocked on many key points, the jury deciding the fate of former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich have unanimously declared that he is an idiot and should never have served in public office.
  
• Sharron Angle: The Biblical case against women serving in the U.S. Senate
  LAS VEGAS - NV GOP senatorial candidate Sharron Angle has unveiled a new book in a futile effort to raise campaign funds. Anybody who donates at least $100 to her senatorial campaign will receive Sharron Angle's latest book: The Biblical case against women serving in the U.S. Senate.
  
• Spinning California's Props (Or When Smart People Do Stupid Things)
  
  
  This is my last post before what I laughingly describe as my 'going on vacation'- I'm moving out of my three bedroom rental house and into a Winnebago RV on my property. Until I can figure out how to tether without using too many gigs or getting caught, I'll have to find wi-fi hot spots to post, so I may be writing less for a bit. But before I go, I wanna tell everyone else in America about the stupidest way to run a state- California- and that's by ballot initiative...Props, they call em out here. As near as I can tell, it works this way:
  
• Brooks Institute Closes Its Doors
  
  Santa Barbara based Brooks Institute announced today that it will be closing its doors because of drafts, insects and general annoyances with having the doors open.
  
• Study Reveals, Most News Stories are Fraudulent
  
  A 6 year, $32 million, government funded study has shown that over 92% of news stories in most major newspapers are loaded with half truths, misquotes, facts taken out of context and outright lies.